desiderium

Olivia Baradaran / V Mag at UVA

something stirs in my soul

when the air feels just right

when the crickets are chirping

and the sun has just set

or when it’s overcast

there’s a warm breeze

i’m barefoot on grass or sand

and i’m excited about the next day

and the day after that

the slow approach of autumn

and the woody scent of the earth

three tired horses standing in a pasture

the grass swaying at their feet

the mortality of my grandparents 

does not consume my thoughts

i’m six again and the world is so big

and i want to see it all but 

it’s impossible to appreciate a moment quite enough

before it’s just another memory

it’s raining so we run outside 

to feel the earth pour herself out to us

and my brother and i share a soul

we share a life

the same curved nose, blue eyes

and our parents’ wit

when it was just the two of us

and our world was still weightless

when my dog could still run

and i danced with life

i crave that air every second

i wait for it all my days

and weeks and months

and when it comes, it’s gone

i’ll chase it to my grave.